The Shreking



The Shreking, or often as "The Shrek Greatness" is the day Shrek appeared in this world. Some even believe that Shrek wasn't born; instead he created himself by popping out of Donkey's Anus. The universe didn't even exist until our great lord Shrek smoke the Dankest Kush. The Shreking is a religious Holiday celebrated by many if not all. He is all knowing, and always watching. And always Horny. Piss him off- and you wish you hadn't. In many beliefs, he will come from the heavens and strike you down with his Shrek cock. Many pray to him before going into battle, since it's believed that his onions will provide you strength in any conflict.

Shrek God Modes
Shrek, being an ultimate badass, knew he had to contain his powers some how. He just didn't know how. It wasn't until Prince Charming created the legendary God Mode Seals. Of course, this enraged Shrek, and cause him to penetrate Charming with his mighty green rod: killing the young prince in the process. However, it calmed the green ogre, and made him return back to his swamp

God Mode V
'''Level Five God Mode of Shrek, is the weakest form of the almighty creator, and his least favorite mode. In this level, Shrek remains in his swamp, eating slugs and using his ear wax as candles. Its his most common form, and well liked by the people. During this mode, Shrek comes off as wise, and noble. Legend has it: if one approaches Shrek in this God Mode, they would receive a rock hard erection. However, this mode is only temporary, and only lasts for one year, before going to level four god mode.'''

God Mode IV
'''Prepare your Anus, because it's about to bleed. This is Shrek's God Mode IV - His Horny mode. Shrek, for whatever reason, looks for a mate to impregnate during this stage. Unfortunately for him, No one wants to fuck someone who smells like onions. Despite this; Shrek still looks to for the ripest anus to tear open. It should be noted that the Xenomorphic-Shrek War was started because of Shrek's God Mode IV, since he tried to sleep with the Xenomorph Queen. This is the longest stage, and the most dangerous. '''

God Mode III
. Dear Mother of God, You Know you messed up if Shrek had to unlock this mode. The Picture says it all. Don't fuck with Shrek in this mode. It's said that trees and mountains begin to weep. Babies give birth to other babies. Air begins to cedes to exist!! Never, ever, ever... let him get into this mode. Surprising however, this isn't his most dangerous form. And is the least common  

God Mode II
'''YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK AVOKING THIS GOD MODE WAS SUCH A GREAT IDEA?? YOU DONE GOOFED. GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER. I CANT EVEN WRITE ABOUT THIS FUCKING MODE SINCE IT'S SO INTESE, THAT YOUR DICK WILL PEEL ITS LAYERS. JUST LIKE THE LAYERS OF A ONION. AND WE ALL KNOW OGRES HAVE LAYERS. '''

God Mode I
'''Praise our Lord and Savior. Shrek is unstoppable in this mode. There is no escape, there is no defeating him. It's just you, and his onion potent smelling semen. He could create entire worlds with a single tear in this mode. He destroyed entire nations with a single sneeze. Satan himself prays Shrek in this mode. It is said that the Legendary Faqboy managed to slay the ogre, and return him back to his original form. But only that is a myth, only believed in fairy tails. Shrek hasn't been in this form for a thousand years; but when he revokes this form. Its the end times. Where is the Legendary Faqboy when you need him? Many believe he will return from his conflict but when that will be... no one knows. We need you Faqboy. We need you.